I gave birth to two humans at the same time. Thank God for that or else I have no idea how I would have dealt with sharing them to the world. I was so very possessive about these beings. You could call it a motherly affection but one must know better than that. I hate it when my kids tend to show more affection towards anyone else. I feel like a failed mother. Though I do know that it's not an official criteria to have failed as mom. Especially when I am a solo parent and I give my heart and soul into taking care of these two, I just can't stop feeling hurt by actions like these of theirs. I feel guilty that we never shared a breastfeeding journey. Usually that's the time when A mom and her baby bonds without any external factors or distractions. Sometimes I feel maybe that's why they don't need me, or aren't as attached as other kids to their moms. On one side as I count the number of days before I will be joining back to work, this kind of a non clingy behavior gives me some positive hope. When I see that they are OK without me for a while, I feel way more confident about going back to work. Also for choosing other people over me, the inner possessive child in me thinks yeah they will get what they deserve when I go to work. Not that I do feel that on a serious note. Anyways parenting is one hell of a journey. And I am sure when I wake up tomorrow all this would be long forgotten and forgiven!P for Possesiveness!
20.04.19 06:19 PM
I gave birth to two humans at the same time. Thank God for that or else I have no idea how I would have dealt with sharing them to the world. I was so very possessive about these beings. You could call it a motherly affection but one must know better than that. I hate it when my kids tend to show more affection towards anyone else. I feel like a failed mother. Though I do know that it's not an official criteria to have failed as mom. Especially when I am a solo parent and I give my heart and soul into taking care of these two, I just can't stop feeling hurt by actions like these of theirs. I feel guilty that we never shared a breastfeeding journey. Usually that's the time when A mom and her baby bonds without any external factors or distractions. Sometimes I feel maybe that's why they don't need me, or aren't as attached as other kids to their moms. On one side as I count the number of days before I will be joining back to work, this kind of a non clingy behavior gives me some positive hope. When I see that they are OK without me for a while, I feel way more confident about going back to work. Also for choosing other people over me, the inner possessive child in me thinks yeah they will get what they deserve when I go to work. Not that I do feel that on a serious note. Anyways parenting is one hell of a journey. And I am sure when I wake up tomorrow all this would be long forgotten and forgiven!