Booby and baby!

Today while trying to put my kids to sleep, my son who was very playful was lying on my chest. I thought he was trying to get some sleep but then I got bitten on my chest by him. That's when I realized how many such bites I have escaped from. I never had to experience babies who cling onto my breast of pulling at my neckline asking for dudu. My kids have rarely even touched my boobs. I have hardly breastfed my kids directly from the boobs. They were preterm and their sucking capacity was low more over being twins, it was like me staying up the entire day trying to feed both of them directly. from the breasts. That was one reason I was more convenient with pumping. From day one I have always had a pump accompanying me at all times. Initially I was pumping every two hours. Once my supply got better and more established I moved on to pumping every three hours. Initially I used a manual hand pump, I really can't imagine how I did it with it after moving on to Medella's electric pump. Pumping became way more easier with the electric pump, also I managed to save a lot of time. This was my biggest task each day because I was determined to exclusively give only breastmilk for my babies until they were six months, not that I am against formula. Now I do feed my kids formula feeds while we go out. Sometimes when milk supply was low I used to pump like a crazy woman, only because I felt guilty for delivering them at 32 weeks and feeding them breastmilk was my way to forgive myself and find solace. There were days when I cried while pumping because I did not produce sufficient milk for both my children. Pumping was ideally not meant to hurt. But beyond a certain stage pumping cause your breasts to hurt like crazy. Pumping has made my nipples grow horizontally. Nobody knows all these pains, that one has to endure unless they have pumped. To top it all off, friends and other moms who know that I don't feed my kids directly say that Im lucky because I don't have to endure bites and bruises from the little monsters sucking at the breasts all day long. When I hear them describe their experiences, I have felt relieved at times that I'm pumping for good. Well now almost after 5 months of weaning them from breastmilk, I feel like I have missed out on that special bond that we would have shared had we been breastfeeding. It's something so special that only a mom and her baby gets to share. Nothing or no-one can even come in between them. Those of you who chose to feed your kids, a big hats off to you and to those of you who decided against it, you are still an awesome mom. Kudos to all moms.